Life was so simple before baby. I thought I had it bad while I was in college. Boy, how wrong I was. These things may seem so simple. That’s because they really are. Children are a lot of work.
Here are my top 13 that I would love to indulge in once again someday.
1. Being able to make spontaneous plans.
Nope. Don’t even think about it. Everything these days revolves around a schedule. Mind you, I already had a “schedule” before PJ, when I worked 9-5 during the weekdays. Now my schedule is basically from when I wake up to when I decide to crash for the night, Sunday through, er, Sunday. Which means forever. Speaking of sleep…
For now, I’ve been one of the lucky few to get a solid 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night. But it was not always this way, and it definitely will not stay this way. When we came home from the hospital, Dan and I were literally zombies. Thank goodness for people who brought us food during that month and a half. They were the MVP’s.
Yes, it’s true. Especially for moms. PJ loves to follow me into the bathroom whenever I need to pee. And if I try to go by myself, she goes into full meltdown mode. In fact, going anywhere around the house is usually a game of tag between me and my little minion. Dad tries to help when he can so I can try getting a moment of peace, and it usually doesn’t work. But I appreciate that he tries.
Oh boy. Back in the day, I would swear like a sailor. Not anymore. I definitely need to clean up my mouth, or I may face the searing embarrassment of the little one picking up on these words – and using them at the most inconvenient times, like while we are at church. I’d rather not be excommunicated.
Also, it is surprisingly grueling to use baby talk all day, every day, 24/7. It will feel like a breath of fresh air when you actually get the chance to talk to another adult. If you can’t get me to stop a conversation with you, it’s likely because I desperately need the social interaction.
5. Sick days.
Moms only get sick time when it’s bad enough to go to the hospital. I’m serious. There is literally no way I can tell PJ to change her own diapers for a day while I recover from the flu. I’m very fortunate to have grandparents to come get her if I’m really bad, but I also try not to overburden them whenever I have the sniffles. I basically just work through it, while Dan can be knocked out on the couch recovering from a sinus infection.
Sigh. I would kill to trade places sometimes.
6. A clean house.
I used to think I was a slob before PJ. Now, I try my best to stay on top of things like dishes and laundry, but I’ve come to accept that there is always going to be at least one room in the house that is not completely clean. And if I end up having guests over, I’ll just throw the mess I can’t clean in time into the bedroom and keep the door closed. They’ll never know.
7. My Netflix shows.
Goodbye, OITNB. Now that I have a little one, I can’t indulge in my guilty Netflix pleasures until after she has gone down for the night. And usually, that time is used catching up on something I was supposed to do during the day, not to binge watch shows like I did in the good ol’ days.
Also, I seem to lose a piece of my sanity every time I need to put one of her favorite cartoons on. Pocoyo all day, every day. The theme song haunts my dreams.
HAHAHAHAHA IF I CAN’T EVEN PEE BY MYSELF WHAT MAKES ME THINK I CAN HAVE TIME TO DO THIS EVER AGAIN??
Hopefully, one day I will have a weekend where PJ stays with her grandparents while I can veg out and dive into a game like I used to and just waste my hours away.
9. Dressing myself, and only myself.
I miss being able to take an hour to myself to put makeup on my face and make my hair all cute. Now I’m lucky if I’m able to remember to wear deodorant. Dan tries to help me here when he can, too.
He only needs like 4 minutes before he looks flawless. Grrrr.
10. Going out to eat.
I’m sure we get glares from the waitstaff when they see us walking in with a toddler. That usually means a bigger mess to clean up. They’re usually right. (And they get a bigger tip from us for doing so.) Also…
11. Going out basically anywhere.
This takes 250% more effort with the baby than it did when it was just me, myself and I. Running errands by myself now feels like a treat, not to mention a chance to get away from the house and all of the chaos that now resides in it.
12. Having nice things.
Babyproofing the house 100% is basically impossible. PJ will find a way to make something that seems perfectly harmless at first glance turn into screaming metal death traps.
Those cords from the Xbox don’t look like they’re going to harm anyone, right? Forget about having one of those fancy kitchens with knives on display on a magnetic strip. Or anything fragile for display. Everything in the house to PJ is just another toy. Or something to poop on, like my white blouses.
13. “Me” time.
My non-negotiables are my hot cup of coffee in the morning and being able to take a hot shower by myself every once in a while. But moments to myself now are rare. In fact, I’m using my allotted “me” time to write this blog for today. And now I hear PJ waking up from her short nap.
Here we go again! Til’ next time.